Looking at my life now, sitting in my comfortable apartment in front of a brand-new computer, I can hardly believe how far I have come. I was raised by an alcoholic mother, and had grown up in poverty. There were times when my mother disappeared for days, when I thought surely she must be dead, and she would reappear as if nothing had happened . . .

I had moved in with my boyfriend when I was 21 to escape, but I had traded one type of dilemma for another. My boyfriend was abusive, and when my oldest son was only six months old, my boyfriend broke my leg. When I told him I was leaving, he threatened to kill me. I was afraid to leave him, how could I support myself? I was terrified that I would become homeless, and lose my children, but I knew I had to leave. He was very controlling, and kept close track of all the money I made. I took a new job, and lied to him about my pay rate so that I could save to get my own house.

Six months later, I had $800.00 dollars, just enough for the first month’s rent and security deposit on a house. The house was old, and leaked when it rained. Train tracks ran right in front of the house, and every couple of hours the Amtrak train would scream past, shaking the house so hard that more than once I woke up thinking that the house would surely fall in, but at least we were safe.

I was working at a video store, and I rode a bike or walked to work. My ex had kept the car. After paying my rent each month, I had $200.00 dollars left for the rest of my bills. Money was tight, and I was terrified. I thought things couldn’t be worse, until I found out I was pregnant. Soon, I wasn’t able to work at all.

I was a single mother with two children, and a third on the way. I was in serious trouble, and couldn’t see a way out. My rent hadn’t been paid in six months, and every time I left the house in search of a job, I was afraid the locks would be changed, everything we owned thrown in the street. It was a hollow comfort that at least we had food, and I was grateful that my children were too young to know the shame of using food stamps. That fall, I walked everywhere, and pulled my children in a wagon, wrapping them in blankets when it was cold. They thought it was great fun, but I was saddened when I saw people look at us with pity. When it became too cold to walk, we used the bus. Day after day, I waited in the cold for the city bus, looking for work. No one wanted to hire an obviously pregnant woman, the message was the same wherever I went, come back after the baby is born. Only one place seemed interested in hiring me, but a car was required, so, sadly, I declined the position.

My son was born February 14. He was several weeks early, but healthy. I was happy to have him, but desperately wanted a better home and a better life for him, and dreaded leaving the hospital and returning to my drafty house. Also, bills were piling up, and I was afraid that my electric would be turned off. I was relieved when it was time for my postpartum checkup, since I couldn’t go back to work until I received a clean bill of health. I was underweight and anemic, and my doctor ordered two months of bed rest.

As I hung up the phone, I couldn’t hold the tears back any longer. I was angry at God, and cried to him, asking why he hadn’t provided for me. I had money that a friend had given me for diapers, when that ran out, what would I do? It was snowing outside, and as I gazed out the window, I saw a creature more wretched than myself, a cat huddling under a tree, shivering. My first reaction was "Oh, no, I can’t handle another mouth to feed!" Then I noticed eight little kittens that she was struggling in vain to shelter. They would surely die if they remained outside, and the mother cat was so thin . . . I opened the door, and called softly, "Here, Kitty" all the while expecting her to run. Instead, she grasped something in her mouth, and ran past me to my bedroom. She repeated her trip seven more times, making a nest in my closet for her kittens. I gave her milk and some food, and she contentedly went to sleep.

Later that day, a friend stopped by. When she saw the kittens, she immediately wanted one. I wanted to give it to her, but she wouldn’t hear of it. She wrote me a check for $350.00. My new companion was a beautiful chocolate point Siamese, and the rest of her kittens sold for $300.00 a piece that same week. I was able to purchase a car, and I happily accepted the position that I previously had to turn down. . I would finally be able to support my family. God truly provided me with what I needed, not just money, but also the humbling lesson that however dark your own circumstances might seem, there is always someone who needs your help.