There is hope for your marriage - continued...
| Fred & Tina
Tina and the kids continued to attend church and stopped pestering Fred about it. Tina’s bible study leader took a personal interest in Tina and took time to learn about her home life. She encouraged her and offered to partner with her in prayer for Fred. She recommended books about prayer and marriage.
Tina learned about being a help mate to her husband and began to put her new understanding into action at home. She went out of her way to make affirming comments to Fred about his work and about him personally. She set a goal to tell her husband at least once every week that she was glad that he was her husband and she wouldn’t trade him for the world. She found a new way to express it each and every week.
Fred didn’t know when it started and he wouldn’t be able to say if you asked him exactly what was different, but he knew something had changed in his life. He was feeling more confident and he wasn’t thinking all the time about whether he made enough money. Soon he was choosing to stay home more often and spend fewer nights out drinking with his friends. Then it hit him, he was really enjoying the time he got to spend with his wife. Somehow Tina was different.
It was Easter Sunday and their kids were in the musical program at church. Tina prayed for courage and approached Fred one more time about coming to church. To her surprise and delight, he accepted. Fred attended the program and the following Sunday he came out to the kitchen table dressed for church. He smiled tentatively and asked if they would mind if he came along. Tina couldn’t help it. She cried as she nodded yes.
That afternoon Fred sat down next to Tina in the living room and asked her about the changes he could see in her. She shared with him in simple word. She had accepted Jesus as Lord of her life and He was working the changes in her in ways that she didn’t even understand. She just knew that she was happier and it was helping her to be a better wife. Fred’s heart swelled and he held his wife’s hand as if it were a life preserver. “Tina, can Jesus help me to be a better husband?” Tina wept freely and embraced her husband. “Yes, He can.”
Fred accepted Jesus right then and there. Tina never had to ask him to go to church with her again.
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Too simple again?
You are a tough audience you know that? What do you want? A hard luck story?
One thing I left out of Fred & Tina’s story. Something you don’t know.
How many years passed between Tina’s salvation and Fred’s?
Six. Six long years. Six Easter programs. Six Christmas celebrations. Tina’s prayers were going up to a faithful Heavenly Father through all of them. And Fred’s heart was slowly but surely softening through each and every day.
With every patient affirming glance from his wife. With every positive word spoken. With every hug and every smile. His self-worth grew and his heart was tenderized. All for the day when he would finally answer the knock on his heart’s door.
As far as Tina is concerned, it could have been 16 or 60 years and it would have still been worth it.
Too often we’re looking for instant potatoes.
We read a good book on prayer and we put it into action and wait for the “poof” to take place. Sometimes it happens. Miracles happen every day. God has a plan for every life and you can’t know what His plan is for another person. There is no way of knowing just how hard hearted one person can be.
We’re not called to pray for a “poof”. We’re called to pray. Period.
Same goes for the changes that God calls us to.
His word is teaching us to be more patient, more good, more loving… When we are implementing a big change in our life, we may expect a big reaction right away. But it might not come as soon as you like or in the form you expect.
Don’t give up.
I wonder how many times Fred ignored Tina’s words of kindness before he noticed them? I imagine that she felt un appreciated on more than one occasion. I asked her. She just smiled and said it again:
It was worth it.
Galatians 6:9 agrees with her: “So don’t get tired of doing what is good. Don’t get discouraged and give up, for we will reap a harvest at the appropriate time.”
| Abe & Sheree
The hardest thing Abe ever had to do was let his wife walk out of his life. She filed for divorce on her own and refused to see Abe. The next time Abe saw Sheree she was in the hospital recovering from a suicide attempt.
Abe cried out to God. He had never felt so helpless in all his life. If he could have willed Sheree to know God he would have but he knew that there was nothing that he could do but love her. When Sheree came out of the hospital she agreed to begin meeting with a Christian counselor from the church. She did not return to their home but stayed with her parents.
Three months later Sheree moved back into their home. Her emotional state was still tender and she diagnosed as being clinically depressed and put on medication. But she continued to see her Christian counselor and she attended church with Abe on Sundays. Abe prayed for her faithfully and loved her as well as he knew how.
Abe came home from work on a Friday to find Sheree in a tearful state. “I’m pregnant Abe. We’re going to have another baby.” She crumbled into his arms and wept for what seemed to Abe like hours. Abe held her and his tears mixed with hers. As he prayed for Sheree he felt encouraged by the Holy Spirit that Sheree’s emotional outpouring was a good thing for her. She was opening her heart to God at last.
When Sheree was drained of all her tears, when her emotions settled, she rested in her husbands arms, feeling some peace at last. She didn’t know how to put it into words, but she just felt lighter. And she felt hopeful.
Sheree accepted the invitation when it was given at church several weeks later and made Jesus Christ Lord of her life at last. Abe and Sheree eventually had four children, all girls. Sheree later founded a ministry for grieving parents.
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Abe could have given up on Sheree. How many young men do you know that can stand by through a suicide attempt? Do you know how many angry and spiteful words he had to hear from Sheree before he received some acceptance of his love from her? Sheree was hurting and hurting people hurt people.
I stand amazed at God’s redemptive power. There is no life so low that He cannot lift it up.
Sheree knew so much pain and grief that it drove her to try to end her life. But with God’s healing power in her life, she discovered that she could use the memory of that pain to minister healing to many others who were going through similar tragedy.
You see?
There was hope for Larry & Lynette.
There was hope for Fred & Tina.
There was hope for Abe & Sheree.
There is hope for your marriage!
I could tell you ten more stories. Stories about couples who survived adultery, bankruptcy, house fire, crippling accidents… each one would further illustrate God’s healing and redemption of marriages.
Maybe I will sometime.
Maybe, someday I will be telling yours.
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