When Sandra and Kelly approached me about writing a weekly single
mom column my first thought was - Me? No Way! I thought I was the
last person that should be writing this! It was a moment of fear -
fear that I didn't have anything to say, fear that no one would
listen to me, fear of rejection, fear of being laughed at, fear of
opening up and letting myself become vulnerable. It was a fear of
being 'real' and admitting that even as a Christian I still struggle
in life, especially as a single mom.
As I sat there in that moment of fear some very wise words popped
into my head. Some people may argue that an eight year old child can
be wise but I will never forget the words my son said to me one day.
We were sitting outside & he had this new skateboard. Some other
'big' kids were doing lots of cool tricks on their skateboards and
Caleb says to me, "you know what mom, we all need to just face our
fears". I looked at him, smiled and said, "Caleb you are right". He
then faced his fears of riding that skateboard and learning some
tricks (of course as a parent I would of been perfectly content if
he had NOT faced his fears...lol) and now he is pretty good at it.
My son's little voice kept playing over and over in my head and it
was those words that made me realize I can do this. I can face my
fears. I keep thinking what's the worst that can happen anyways? The
worst that could happen would be that I am a total flop at writing a
weekly column and I'm asked to stop writing. And instead of thinking
about the worst I'm focusing on the best situation instead. I've
always had a heart for single moms, I've always wanted to share my
voice about situations/struggles that single moms go through so now
I've been given my opportunity.
I've asked God to see me through this and to help me face my fears
of being 'real'. I'm believing that God is going to use me to reach
other women. Even if I can help one single mom through my words then
it will have been well worth facing my fears. Even when we think
that our lives are a mess and that we are the last person that
should be doing something, God can still use us! In fact, it's
usually the times that we think we can't be used that God is most
likely to use us!
Next week I'll be sharing my testimony with you so that you can hear
a little about me and how I became a Christian. Until then, have a
blessed week!
