I am choleric.
If you know your classic personality types, you know that can mean big trouble.
Choleric means that I am fairly straight forward (Opinionated), I say what I mean (and hurt feelings while I'm at it), and you always know where I stand on a subject (whether you asked me or not).
I am a great fan of understanding personality types. It has helped me to learn to love myself and others better. So, when I use personality to explain something, I hope that you know that I do not present it as an "excuse", but rather as a "reason".
The Lord created me with this choleric personality type, so I love it - but I know that there are aspects of being choleric that can be damaging to others. It is my desire to be conformed to the image of Jesus Christ and to allow God to smooth out my rough edges.
This devotion is about some "smoothing" that I am submitting myself to right now!
The Bible has a lot to say about advice. In the Old Testament God has given us many examples of how leaders who failed to take advice ended up in trouble because of it.
The choleric in me just loves to give advice. I have a hard time listening to a problem without wanting to suggest a solution. Without even stopping to consider whether someone is looking for any advice, I am ready to fly into the "I can fix this" mode. I am ashamed to recall times when I didn't even take time to listen to the whole story before I was outlining the "solution". That brings nothing but trouble!
Proverbs 18:1: "What a shame, what folly, to give advice before listening to the facts!"
There is a time and a place for good advice:
Proverbs 25:11: "Timely advice is as lovely as golden apples in a silver basket."
Before we give advice, we should always take time to pray and seek God's counsel. Often, we just need to take some time to listen and agree with them in prayer.
Prophetic Advice
One of the spiritual gifts is prophecy. I don't go around giving prophecy all day, but I do from time to time receive a prophetic word from the Lord. Let me tell you, this is not a gift to play games with! Never give advice as a "word from the Lord" unless you are absolutely certain that He wants you to do it!
Some prophetic information is only intended to be used in prayer. Some of my worst bungles have come from sharing "advice" that God never directed me to share and I was just too immature to know it.
I am learning now to recognize a subtle "check" in my spirit when God is telling me to remain silent on an issue. I thank God for that!
Make sure they want to hear it first
Sometimes there is good advice to be given but because a person is not willing to listen, it is a waste of time and effort. Because I have such a strong personality I can try to convince someone of the right course of action and that can come dangerously close to the spirit of control which is not of God. God made us all with a free will and that is simply not to be tampered with.
It is really hard when someone's problem has such an obvious solution and they just can't see it yet. But if I push "my solution" at them, I may just end up alienating them.
Proverbs 10:21: "The godly give good advice, but fools are destroyed by their lack of common sense."
Proverbs 23:9: "Don't waste your breath on fools, for they will despise the wisest advice."
Is advice even needed?
Most women, including myself, just need to be able to verbalize an issue. They just need a listening ear and a partner in prayer. They don't need to hear what I think about it.
It has been a hard lesson, but I am learning that when someone comes to me and expressly asks for advice, it still might not really be advice they need.
I may have an answer. I may even have the right answer. But -
"People need to be loved more than they need to know that I'm right!"
I can't take credit that that thought. It came from our Children's Pastor Julie O'Dell! She is a great example of someone who can listen to your problems, pray with you and encourage you without offering you any particular advice other than to seek God's face. I know that I can learn so much more from her example than I can even grasp right now.
Slowly, it is getting through to me that God didn't ask me to run the universe for Him. He didn't even ask me to solve people's problems. He only asked me to love people.
